Since there are people who read this that are much wiser than I in the parenting department, here are a few issues I'm dealing with. Suggestions very much welcome!

• William is obsessed with his sister's room. Problem is, she doesn't want him in there.
• Kayleigh really is a grump in the afternoon, but refuses to nap.
  
• How do you discipline your children when you also must discipline other children? I have this personal rule that I do not spank other people's children, but I do spank my own. The issue comes into play when one of mine and another have committed a crime together, a crime I would normally spank my child for.
• I think Kayleigh is going through some kind of "four-years old but acts like a thirteen-year old" stage. Everything is dramatic and I mean everything. The girl cries over the littlest things!
• I need to figure out something to ward off the post-naptime crazies.
  
• William laughs at me when I correct him, especially if I attempt to lower my voice. Nice.
• William might be past the biting stage, but now he's in the hitting/knocking down/pushing stage. He gets so angry and I'm not sure how to help him communicate in a better way.
• Kayleigh told me she doesn't want me to be her teacher next year...she wants to go to school. I don't want to force homeschooling, but am also worried about what they'll do since she is doing Kindergarten work this year. She's not a genius...she's a regular 4 year old who just happens to read at a higher level, so I really wouldn't want her skipping grades. But at the same time, I wouldn't want her to be bored and not challenged to continue learning.
  

Why can't parenting be easy?

Monday is the beginning of preschool here at the Ms. Michelle's Childcare. For the last month I have worked really hard at planning and organizing everything, so hopefully all will go well! My over-all theme is the ABCs and my main focus is to teach letter sounds and beginning math concepts. Science and Social Studies will be thrown in along with Art for fun! I also want to do some informal piano lessons with the older ones, but that may be a bit ambitious of me.

Monday also is the official start of Kayleigh Pre-K year, although we are doing mostly Kindergarten work. Here's what we are using:

• Sonlight Core K--I was going to start with the P 4/5, but I really don't think it's worth the cost, so now I am selling it. I then found an AMAZING deal on the K instructors guide that included two language art guides ( K and 1st) and the K science guide. (over $150 worth of curriculum for $35!) We are going to skip on the language arts and science for this year and plan on taking two years to complete the Core.
• Handwriting Without Tears Pre-K--I know it looks weird..we'll probably change programs next year. This is just to introduce her to the idea of writing.
  
• Explode the Code Books 3 & 4--I was using The Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading, but Kayleigh was totally bored with it. She is really liking the workbook approach, though. *Tip*--I put a sheet protector over the pages, that way she can complete them as many times as she wants!
• Reading lots of books--not to brag...well, to brag, Kayleigh is reading on a late first/early second grade level. I am amazed!
  
• Saxon Math K
• Explorer's Bible Study--totally free online! I'll be using this with all the kiddos!

A little plug for the local homeschool store I frequent:

Home Educator's Resource Center is awesome! The ladies there are really helpful, not to mention I found most of what I needed there and saved myself a bundle because it was used. So, before you go and buy new stuff, check this place out and save some money! I should warn you though....browsing their shelves can become addicting!

Things we don't have, and I'm glad:

• Two Cell Phones---this totally catches people by surprise. They don't see how I can function without one, but I do. Since cell phones became accessible, I have only owned one for a one year period before Kayleigh was born. Justin has one, so we aren't totally in the Dark Ages.
• Cable--really cuts down on the watching TV out of boredom.
• The ability to spoil our children materially---not having loads of money can be beneficial!
• A car payment
• A bigger house--it's hard enough keeping this one clean
  
• Debt--totally Justin's doing...he's an awesome financial planner...of course some call him stingy, but I don't care.
• Long drives to visit our children's grandparents
• Cribs--William is in a big boy bed now...can't wait to put diapers on this list!
  

I asked Kayleigh a couple days ago if she wanted to play softball and her reply was, "No, football!". Do they have football leagues for little girls? And thank you Sydney for the shirt....she LOVES it!

One more class down! And I squeaked by with an "A"! So, it's two weeks of freedom and then on to American Fiction in the Fall.

Books I read this summer:

• Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin
• Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi
• Perfect Madness by Judith Warner
• A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting by Hara Estroff Marano
• Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore
• The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

If I had to pick my favorite, The Glass Castle wins hands down. Walls writes an honest account of life with her neglectful, selfish parents, and yet there is so much love and forgiveness woven with the harshness. The memoir is disturbingly beautiful.

I also really enjoyed A Nation of Wimps, even though she calls homeschooling the "hottest of hothouses" when it comes to parenting (hothouse parenting is her term for helicopter parenting in case you are wondering). I agree, to a point. Some people homeschool in order to shelter their children from the world or turn their children into little geniuses. This is hothouse parenting, and I don't believe these should be the goals of homeschooling. My personal goal is to create a desire and love for learning in my children, and I think this is the goal of most homeschoolers I know. It's not that I think the public schools are bad, but I do believe they have a different focus and goal, namely the TAKS. I understand this focus; their funding is somewhat based on TAKS scores, so the kids need to perform well on it. If we could afford a private school, like Coram Deo for instance, I would send my kids off to school in a heartbeat, but that's not something we can do. So for now, I am choosing to homeschool.

Reading Same Kind of Different As Me was pretty cool because it is set in Fort Worth, so I knew the places the authors wrote about. I wouldn't call this one brilliant or anything, but it was moving.

Well...I gotta run....William just dumped all the puzzles all over the playroom floor. Boys!

A Little Help....

William's birthday is in a month and I need a little help deciding which toy to buy him. Here's the choices:

Wedgits 3-D Builders

Expand the building skills and creative development of children as young as 2 years with this 15-pc. preschool set. Its over-sized, geometrically symmetrical blocks stack, nest and/or interlock for free-form, 3-dimentional designs. Includes 46 design cards to get kids started. All in quality plastic. Largest block is 5¾" Sq. Ages 2 yrs. +.

2 'N 1 Wooden Workshop

It's a workbench---it's a tool box! Actually , this all wood set is both! Comes with pounding pegs, bolts, differently shaped screws, building slats along with a hammer, screwdriver and wrench to put it all together. The 13"L x 6"W x 6"H Workbench has pre-drilled holes for creative building. Ages 2 yrs. +.

I think the Wedgits are a little advanced for him right now, but he would still enjoy stacking them. The tools, I know would be a hit. The one draw back is the amount of pieces to keep up with. So, what would you get a two-year old boy?

My son....The Silly!

William mastered climbing out of the crib a couple weeks ago and I lowered the railing so he could get out easier. A couple nights ago I opened his door before going to bed and hit him on the head! He was sound asleep on the floor right by the door! He knows how to open his door, so I don't know what that was about. Well, today I heard some movement in his room, so after about 30 minutes or so I went to peek in on him and this is what I found....


Yep, he fell asleep UNDER his crib! Guess he was seeking a womb-like sleep environment or something.

To anonymous...

I'm not lost. I know where to go for the answers to my questions, so I'm not lost. Wandering maybe, but not lost. Nine years ago, God pulled me out of Egypt, and like the Israelites, I have been hesitant to enter the Promised Land out of fear. I see the giants and I think I must defeat them on my own instead of relying on God to fight the battles for me. A lot of my problem is how I think of God. I project my own ways of thinking and doing on to Him...I think He functions as I do, which is simply not true. So, I think my first step is to seek God's Word for who He is and allow the Holy Spirit to transform my thinking. In learning who God is, I should also become aware of who I am, since only He can really answer that for me.

On to another subject.......

Read this:

Imagine you are walking down a leafy path. It is early spring before sundown, around six P.M. The sun is receding, and you are walking alone, caressed by the breezy light of the late afternoon. Then, suddenly, you feel a large drop on your right arm. Is it raining? You look up. The sky is still deceptively sunny: only a handful of clouds linger here and there. Seconds later, another drop. Then, with the sun still perched in the sky, you are drenched in a shower of rain. This is how memories invade me, abruptly and unexpectedly: drenched, I am suddenly left alone again on the sunny path, with a memory of the rain.
--from Reading Lolita in Tehran by Aza Nafisi

This book is amazing...the author is amazing...you must read it!

While reading for class this week, I came across this passage from an essay on womens' relationships by Adrienne Rich:

It isn't that to have an honorable relationship with you, I have to understand everything, or tell you everything at once, or that I can know beforehand, everything I need to tell you.

It means that most of the time I am eager, longing for the possibility of telling you. That these possibilities may seem frightening, but not destructive, to me. That I feel strong enough to hear your tentative and groping words. That we both know we are trying, all the time, to extend the possibilities of truth between us.

The possibility of life between us.

I read this, and I think.....I want to feel this way in my relationships with my husband, my children, my family, my friends. I want to be "eager, longing for the possibility of telling" my secrets, my dreams with those I say I love the most. I want to be able to trust someone with me, just me; not the me I put on every morning, but the me I shove underneath in order to protect. No one really knows me except for God...I don't even think I know me.

I am almost 30, but in many ways I still feel like I did at 16...unsure of who I am, of what I am supposed to be doing, of what I really believe in. I see people, talk to people and I can tell they really, I mean really, trust God. A couple weeks ago in church we sang the song "Blessed Be the Name of the Lord", and it seems every time we sing it a man who lost his 9-year old daughter is up there on stage playing guitar. I look at him as we sing, "You give and take away, still my heart will choose to say, blessed be the name of the Lord", and I think, could I see this song if God allowed one of my children to die so young? Would I trust Him? I want to trust Him like that. Yet, I know learning to trust requires handing over control, a risk all too often I am not willing to take.

In a way, I see the above passage as the cry of my soul to God, when I allow her to speak freely; although, God's voice is certainly not tentative or groping. I don't have to understand everything about Him, or need to tell Him everything (He already knows it all). I am eager to tell Him, though I don't always know what. The possibility of intimacy with Him does seem frightening to me, but in no way do I see Him as destructive, though He seeks to break down the walls I build between Him and I. He is, even when I am not, " trying, all the time, to extend the possibilities of truth between us. The possibility of life between us."

Apparently, we have monsters in our house. These monsters do anything from break the toothbrush holder to drawing on the toilet and bathtub (at least they used a pencil). They also make messes in rooms and spill milk all over the table. Since, I cannot see them, I assume they are invisible or maybe you just have to be three years old before they will reveal themselves to you.

So, any suggestions on teaching the concept of "telling the truth" to an almost four year old?

This could have been worded better:

From this article in the Dallas Morning News

"Texas has made less headway in reducing teen births than the nation as a whole, according to data in the Annie E. Casey Foundation's annual Kids Count report to be released today."

Don't you need to prevent the pregnancy before you can prevent the birth?

Here's some of the books I am thinking about for this summer:

Infidel and A Caged Virgin by Ayaan Hirsi Ali

The Fall of the Evangelical Nation by Christine Wicker (read an editorial in the Sunday paper that sparked my interest)

The Body Project by Joan Jacobs Brumberg ( I actually read this about 3 years ago, but I want to read it again)

Without a Map by Meredith Hall

I think I am going to need more hours in my day....

I am required to read four complete non-fiction works in two genres, i.e. biography, memoir, current events, history, or literary journalism, over the course of the next 10 weeks (500 word summaries required). In addition to those, I must read two other books, Three Cups of Tea and one other on women, globalization and culture (comparative book review required), and there's the essay book and the textbook to read also. All of these also require discussion board participation. It's a good thing I finally trained Kayleigh to play quietly in her room while the others are taking naps; she even falls asleep half the time. I am choosing the reading track for this course; there is a writing and a conference track available, but I think the reading one fits my taste right now. I wouldn't mind trying my hand at writing creative non-fiction sometime in the future; it appeals to my editorial writer aspiration. My exposure to the genre is very limited, so I am looking forward to reading more of it this summer.

Anyone have suggestions on what four books I should read? I was thinking of reading two memoirs and two works of literary journalism. I don't get out much, so I have no idea of what's out there.

Eureka!!

I think I have found the trick to get Kayleigh to stop sucking her fingers! JellyBeans! I set a time frame, say 30 minutes, and if she doesn't suck fingers during that time frame, she gets a JellyBean. I also enroll her friends to tattle on her (I know, it's mean, oh well).

Something I am not looking forward to....taking the pacifier away from William. I should have listened to all the baby books that tell you take it away before 6 months of age. He is only allowed to have it if he is in bed, so it should be a little easier, but this is not going to be fun!

Something I am looking forward to.....my summer class, Literary Non-fiction. From glancing at the required books, this looks to be a pretty fun course!

Well, kids are climbing the walls...literally!

Stacation

Since Saturday we've been practicing for what it'll be like when we're empty nesters. Or at the minimum have kids old enough to supervise themselves to some extent. Our kiddos have been at grandparents since then (1/2 with mine, 1/2 with Michelle's), and we'll get them back Thursday.

Now, don't get me wrong, I've been tempted to drop in on them to see them and hang out, but it has been wonderful being able to get a lot of stuff done around the house that is difficult with the two little ones. That and Michelle is able to help out rather than constantly being hounded by kids. We've painted the kitchen and foyer, finished painting a lot of door trim, prepped The Boy's room for painting, and prepped the living room. We've also done a massive spring cleaning effort and took a carload of stuff to CCA. And I put in a new garage door opener.

This is our vacation. I actually read a term that calls it a Stacation (Stay at Home Vacation) Yeah, doesn't sound "fun" does it. But, I actually do feel good because we've gotten a lot of stuff done that I've been wanting to get done and it feels good to have it completed. But it's not all work and no play. We've had "date night" every night of the week. We've seen 2 movies in the theater and it's been probably 6 months to a year since we've gotten to do that. And Michelle got a hottie mom haircut.

We were going to go on a cruise for our vacation, but ended up needing to cancel. Then we were going to rent a condo on the beach for a few days, but felt that the money there would be better spent doing these things around the house. We also got a new mattress a couple weeks ago when we decided we weren't going anywhere. But, since I still had grandparent's lined up to watch the kids, I wasn't going to let them off the hook that easy. Hence the empty house right now.

Alright, the day is starting. I've got 6 doors to rout and hang and then I've got to get my garage cleaned back up from being the workspace to park vehicles back in again.

Woo Hoo!! Final project for the Women's Studies course is complete and submitted! I am so glad to be done with that course. Not that it wasn't interesting or eye-opening in many cases, but it's nice to be finished with school for a month or so.

In other news....

It's official, we will be Sonlighters for at least the next year or three! I am excited about starting this curriculum with Kayleigh and the other kiddos I watch. I think a little more structure to their day will help with the bickering that has started happening daily. They seem to get tired of each other sooner than they used to, plus Kayleigh loves "doing school". Sonlight is literature based, so I'll pretty much be reading stories to them all year and adding phonics and math where appropriate. I have three different levels to teach to, so it should be interesting. There's Kayleigh who can read any three to four letter word with a short vowel sounds. Then there are two who are ready to learn letter sounds and beginning words. And then there's William who just needs to be introduced to the alphabet and numbers. All this curriculum planning makes me think about opening a preschool...but I really don't want all the business hassles of that!

The idea of homeschooling it still pretty scary to me. I worry that somehow I am going to mess up their education by not teaching something correctly. Then I worry that they will have social dysfunctions. But I really feel homeschooling is the best thing for them right now....we are taking it one year at a time, one kid a time.

Guess who this is......

PS: a certain someone named Nathan should have a good idea!

Somebody Got Herself a New Grill

You read that pronoun right. Michelle made me give in an go buy a new grill. I so frugal/stingy/cheap (pick your adjective) that I've been wanting one but never could bring myself to pull the trigger on it. But Michelle wanted to have more grilled meals and since my old one was such a piece of junk, they never turned out right.

Since today was gorgeous and we had been cooped up inside most of the day priming our master bathroom for painting (pictures to follow), it was a great opportunity to eat outside. I suppose next I need some real outdoor furniture.

A few months ago my mom came back from my Granny's with a bag of yarn...this is the first finished project from that bag. The pattern was for infants, but I did some tweaking that actually worked and it fits the girl. I'm not sure how Daddy is going to feel about the open back, but I think it will be cute even with a tank top underneath.

I have never quite understood how such little people can make so much noise! Right now I feel like I am in an elevator with a 12 piece brass band! I can't wait for lunch because when their mouths are full of food there is a brief moment of silence! Usually the chaos doesn't bother me, but today it's about to drive me nuts!