Over the summer I took a course on creative non-fiction, not a genre I typically read, but now I can't seem to get enough! Right now I am reading The Feminine Mistake: Are we giving up too much? by Leslie Bennetts. Interesting viewpoint, don't agree with most of her philosophy, but it's interesting. Her main premise is that leaving the workplace, for a woman, amounts to financial suicide, i.e. she is totally dependent on her man to take care of her and if he chooses to opt out or dies or is disabled, then she up a creek without a paddle; and it is not just her that suffers, she takes her kids with her.

Now I do admit some truth to what she is saying. If Justin were to go stupid and leave me, it would be really tough financially for me and the kids. I have no degree, and my skill set does not put me in line for positions with salaries high enough to support three people, at least not in the lifestyle we now enjoy. Not to mention, I have not worked outside the home since Kayleigh was born, so even getting a job might prove difficult. I really don't worry about this, or even think about it very much. Perhaps I should...but then wouldn't that be planning for my marriage to fail? For me what it comes down to is that I am not completely dependent upon Justin; I know he is human and I expect him to make mistakes (although he knows if he ever leaves me, he'll pretty much have to leave the country), therefore I look to God for our provision and I trust that if my husband goes stupid, HE will take care of me.

Another issue Bennetts brings up is the real reason many women quit the work force, and it's not necessarily because they feel a strong desire to be at home. For me the decision was twofold: on one hand, I really felt the desire to be at home with my children, but another factor was that I really just did not enjoy what I was doing. Now don't ask what I would have enjoyed doing, because honestly I don't know. I really do not have a desire to do anything other than what I am doing right now. Please don't read this as "I'm a better mother because I stay at home". I do not feel that way towards women who choose to or need to work. I understand the desire for work outside of the home. There are days I wish I had more adult interaction, days I miss an office environment and co-worker relationships; if I could work part-time outside the home and actually make money I would. I do feel isolated, like I don't really know what is going on in the world. I have a very small sphere of existence right now: home and church. It can feel confining at times and liberating at others. Heck, I get to wear sweat pants and t-shirts everyday of the week! I don't necessarily have a schedule to adhere to and I don't feel rushed or pressed for time most days. By nature, I am a home-body, so I guess that helps a little. If I was more Type-A, this life would probably drive me nuts!

Kids are starting to wake up, so I'd better go!