Reading this book (see below), has me asking many questions, one of which is why society tends to glorify the sacrifice women make for their families, but ignores all the sacrifices men make. There are men out there, my husband included, who choose careers that provide, instead of careers they love, give up many things they want and pretty much work their fingers to the bone in order to support their wives and children. And they do this without much griping, at least not as much as I hear from women about all they have to give up.

Not to mention, I simply cannot imagine the temptations my husband as to face on a daily basis. There are women out there who just don't care that there is a ring on his finger, in fact some might see him as a challenge because of it. That's why, despite my dread of large groups of people I don't know, I go to his office parties and make sure I speak intelligently and look pretty darn HOT! I also do my best to look decent when he comes home; he spends 40+ hours a week with professional women, I need to make a good impression when he's here :) This all probably sound very Donna Reed, but I don't care. If taking the time to keep up my appearance gives Justin one less thing to be tempted by, I'll do it!

It is kinda scary for me having my husband out there in the workplace. I'm sure there are women much more engaging and interesting than I am. Really, who wants to here about dirty diapers and teaching kids their ABCs all the time? I am working on broadening my conversational topics with the books I read and the newspaper, but my kids are my passion, so that's what I tend to talk about the most.

All this being said....I am enormously grateful to Justin for going to work everyday to make sure we have food on the table, clothes on our backs, and a roof over our heads. He values my role as a wife and mother, supports my desire to be at home with the kids and even possibly homeschool for a time, and encourages me to grow (sometimes he has to pull me kicking and screaming, but he's persistent). People ask me if getting married so young was a good idea (we were 21 and 22, and only dated 3 months before we were engaged), and while things have not always been easy, I truly believe God used and still uses Justin to protect me from making more really dumb choices. I really don't know where I would be now if I had not said "yes" eight years ago. He is my "knight in shining armor".

Over the summer I took a course on creative non-fiction, not a genre I typically read, but now I can't seem to get enough! Right now I am reading The Feminine Mistake: Are we giving up too much? by Leslie Bennetts. Interesting viewpoint, don't agree with most of her philosophy, but it's interesting. Her main premise is that leaving the workplace, for a woman, amounts to financial suicide, i.e. she is totally dependent on her man to take care of her and if he chooses to opt out or dies or is disabled, then she up a creek without a paddle; and it is not just her that suffers, she takes her kids with her.

Now I do admit some truth to what she is saying. If Justin were to go stupid and leave me, it would be really tough financially for me and the kids. I have no degree, and my skill set does not put me in line for positions with salaries high enough to support three people, at least not in the lifestyle we now enjoy. Not to mention, I have not worked outside the home since Kayleigh was born, so even getting a job might prove difficult. I really don't worry about this, or even think about it very much. Perhaps I should...but then wouldn't that be planning for my marriage to fail? For me what it comes down to is that I am not completely dependent upon Justin; I know he is human and I expect him to make mistakes (although he knows if he ever leaves me, he'll pretty much have to leave the country), therefore I look to God for our provision and I trust that if my husband goes stupid, HE will take care of me.

Another issue Bennetts brings up is the real reason many women quit the work force, and it's not necessarily because they feel a strong desire to be at home. For me the decision was twofold: on one hand, I really felt the desire to be at home with my children, but another factor was that I really just did not enjoy what I was doing. Now don't ask what I would have enjoyed doing, because honestly I don't know. I really do not have a desire to do anything other than what I am doing right now. Please don't read this as "I'm a better mother because I stay at home". I do not feel that way towards women who choose to or need to work. I understand the desire for work outside of the home. There are days I wish I had more adult interaction, days I miss an office environment and co-worker relationships; if I could work part-time outside the home and actually make money I would. I do feel isolated, like I don't really know what is going on in the world. I have a very small sphere of existence right now: home and church. It can feel confining at times and liberating at others. Heck, I get to wear sweat pants and t-shirts everyday of the week! I don't necessarily have a schedule to adhere to and I don't feel rushed or pressed for time most days. By nature, I am a home-body, so I guess that helps a little. If I was more Type-A, this life would probably drive me nuts!

Kids are starting to wake up, so I'd better go!