It's all coming back to me...

The wonderful first trimester symptoms that is. And it's about to get worse because my doctor is putting me on progesterone. Seems my levels are just below what he would like them to be...and I say just below because 11 is good and mine are 10.9. So, since I'm a measly .1 off I get to be miserable for the next 4 weeks...at least that's what I've heard. Not that it won't be totally worth it in the end, but I'm not looking forward to this. Not only do I have Kayleigh to keep up with, but I also have the three other kiddos I watch during the week. I would appreciate all the prayers you can throw my way....maybe just maybe it won't affect me like it has some of my friends that have taken it.

That aside I'm super siked about having another! Although being preggers all summer is kind of a bummer, but I know plenty of people with pools. Justin and I were completely shocked by this. There have been a few concerns....the hormone levels and some bleeding. Thursday I had a sonogram and saw the heartbeat, so baby is doing fine. With this beginning I can only wonder if this one is going to keep me on my toes for his/her whole life. We should find out the sex in April (only 3 months away!). I'm thinking boy because I'm craving salty foods and with Kayleigh all I wanted was chocolate.

My first co-ed dance (no, mommy didn't make me do it)

more dancing 

and some more

She's already picking up our habits! 

I took Kayleigh to the doctor yesterday because her eyes have been watery and such. I thought it was allergies, seeing as the last time this happened that is what the doctor told me. Come to find out the little bugger has pink eye and an ear infection in both ears! This is the second ear infection in a month. Not that anyone would guess she has one. She doesn't even tug at her ears or anything. The last time she ran a high fever and that's how I knew something was up. Guess she has a high pain tolerance. Anyways....I feel like a bad mom....I mean who knows how long her little ears have bothered her. Maybe I should teach her the signs for "ears" and "hurts".

Kayleigh is really picking up sign language. The Flower Mound Library carries the Signing Time videos, which I am totally siked about. We watched the first one last week and now Kayleigh can sign "bird", "ball", "eat", "banana", and "shoes". It's so cute! I'm working on "please" and "thank you". She can actually say "please", well it's more like "peese". Gotta start early on those manners. Well, I'd better go...Kayleigh is awake and I need to make her breakfast before I get her out of bed.

Just think this is funny.  

My new hairstylist 

Eating at the table for the first time! 

Using a spoon!!! I'm so big!! 

Long time, no post....I know. Wish I had a good excuse, but the reason for last of posting is simple...I'm addicted to The Sims. Every chance I get I'm on the computer playing the silly game. Although now that I found the cheats, it isn't has much fun. Guess I can't get on to Justin about his game time anymore.

The Christmas tree is up and so far Kayleigh really hasn't messed with it too much. She loves the lights though. Can't wait till Christmas...this year will be so much fun. Last Christmas she just drooled all over her presents, but hopefully this year we'll get some paper ripping!

Well I don't really have anything to blog about...just wanted everyone to know we are still alive!

Pictures are on the way!

1. Five things I plan to do before I die:
a. Visit Europe
b. Get a Degree
c. Raise our child (maybe children) and hopefully get her out of the house before she's 30.
d. Travel up the East Coast....and West Coast
c. Influence someone positively

2. Five things I can do:
a. Math...love it...want to major in it one day.
b. Be flexible
c. Get along with just about anybody...don't know if that' s good or bad.
d. Feel enormous amounts of compassion for people fooled by the world's lies.
e. Teach my daughter animal noises and parts of her body!

3. Five things I can't do:
a. Anything creative! Well....anything without specific directions.
b. Talk on the phone for long periods of time
c. Come up with meals out of my head....again, require specific directions.
d. Keep the house as clean as I would like it.
e. Trust God as much as I know He deserves to be

4. Five things that attract me to the opposite sex:
a. Confidence
b. Stability
c. Responsibility
d. A sense of humor
e. A nice smile

5. Five things I say most often:
a. Ya know?
b. For crying out loud
c. Honest to Pete (thanks, mom)
d. "Turn it off"---as in little child screaming for no reason.
e. "That's enough!" Can you tell I work with kiddos?

6. Five celebrity crushes:
a. Superman (don't know his name....the guy on Smallville)
b. Christian Bale
c. Colin Firth
d. Dr. Phil....the man just makes sense!
e. Micheal Jackson (when I was five....couldn't think of another)

7. Five people I want to do this:
a. Kendra
b. Brenda
That's all I could think of at the moment....don't know who else reads this thing.

Wow! A month without postings! Our hard drive crashed and because it was four years old we couldn't just replace it. So, Justin built a new computer and did an excellent job!

Something amazing has happened!! This past Thursday, Kayleigh actually looked at me and said "Mama"!!! I never thought I would get so excited about a simple little word! I just melted! I wanted to hug and kiss her forever! Finally, some reward for all those months of tough work.

Kayleigh is my little routine baby. Justin usually gives her a bath at night and gets her dressed for bed. The second he is done brushing her hair she starts reaching for me because I brush her teeth and read to her before laying her down. And if I forget a step, she is sure to remind me. We started saying our prayers at night right after I read from her little kid Bible. Our prayers are only about 20 seconds long, but she gets the picture.

I am completely spoiled by her! Then again she is pretty stubborn and adventuresome. She does things I would never imagine a child thinking of. For example, she knows she is not supposed to go into a corner behind one of our chairs, so she has started sitting on the edge of the hearth and purposefully falling to the side to get behind it. The little sneak! And I can't have the windows open in the living room unless I'm in there with her. One day she popped out the screen and climbed out! I didn't think she would actually climb out the window! I'm struggling with this part of her personality a bit. My personality wants to be laid back, but with her I need to be more attentive and consistent. Really I'm just being selfish. I want to be able to tell her once and that's it. I don't want to have to continually redirect her from something she isn't supposed to do. And I've learned that redirection and time out are probably going to be my tools with her. I've tried smacks on the hand and on the back of the leg, but they don't phase her. It's like she thinks whatever the punishment the forbidden thing is worth doing. I think she gets that from me, I'm sorry to say.

Well there's the update!

Can't sleep...made the mistake of drinking a Dr. Pepper with dinner.

The other day, while shopping at Target, I happened to overhear a cell phone conversation. The man said "f***ing" so many times I began to wonder if that was the only adjective in his vocabulary. I just do not understand the prolific use of curse words. Now I used to be one of those prolific cursers, so don't see this as a holier-than-thou sort of rant. I simply feel there are better ways to express one’s self than by using profanity. That being said, I do believe there are times when a profanity is appropriate.

Take this little tale for example. While teaching Vacation Bible School, my mom and I had quite an experience one year. A little girl in the class thought wearing a Pull-Up was license to use the bathroom in her pants. These were four-year olds mind you. Well, the poor thing must have ingested something that did not agree with her because the Pull-Up was inadequate for the task. Needless to say we discovered a pile of poop on the floor and some children had already managed to walk through it. Thankfully, we did not have any budding painters in the room. Later on that day, someone asked my mom how her day went and she answered, "It was a shitty day".

Other times profanity might be appropriate could be when talking about any animal fecal matter, a female dog, or a donkey....although there are other terms that could be substituted.

For the life of me I cannot think of when the "f" word would be appropriate. If you have a situation, please enlighten me. There is not a word I despise more than this one. Some really good movies are totally ruined to me because of its constant use. Call me old-fashioned or stuck in the mud, but that's just the way it is!

On a different note.....I came across a web-site for home-schooling a couple weeks ago. The thought has entered my mind to home-school, but seeing as I have about four more years to decide it's not that high on the list. Anyhow! I started reading on the different methods and one struck my fancy, the Charlotte Mason method. I picked up a couple books from the library to learn more about it. The more I read, the more I like. Still, I have so many reservations about home-schooling. The main one is I know very few social and well rounded home-schooled children...well, I don't know that many home-schooled kids to begin with. Another, I not really sure I have the patience to be the educator of my child(ren). Plus it's not like I have a choice to give money to the public school system and it seems like a waste of money to not take advantage of the free education. Yet, a part of me wants to control the learning environment, especially in the grade school years. Like I said, I have four more years to mull it over.

Still not tired, but don't really have much else to write about. Oh, wait just thought everyone would like to know that Kayleigh is becoming a drama queen. It's so hard not to laugh! She flings herself to the ground and wails if she doesn't get her way. What is even funnier is after the initial flinging she stands up and tries to keep the fit going. She walks around flinging herself on the couch, into pillows, or whatever else is close by. I really should borrow a video camera to tape it sometime. A part of me wonders if it is something I'm doing or not doing. My biggest struggle is remaining consistent. Sometimes it is just easier to let her do the thing I've told her a hundred times not to, but I know that totally confuses her. And now I'm starting to see an issue I might have because I am watching other people's children. I do use spanking as a disciple method with Kayleigh, but I do not, nor will I, spank the other children. So, do I need to not spank Kayleigh or will she even notice the difference?

Well, I think this is long enough....thanks for reading my "can't sleep" rambles!

And a very serious musician!

Kayleigh is a very serious reader!  

Water Fun! 

Don't really have anything to write about...nothing new and exciting on the home front. I'm not a great writer so I can't just write. I remember in school when they made us keep journals. We could write about anything we wanted to and I hated it! I need direction, which also means I am incredibly predictable and boring. Now I don't know if this is something I can change, but I sure would like to. Of course others might call me stable...that puts it in better light. I've become a fuddy-dud! I listen to talk radio for crying out loud. My parents listen to talk radio! Justin at least knows all the new songs and artist out there. I haven't a clue who is the latest and greatest. Not to mention my closet....I think my mom has moved in! Not that I don't like how my mom dresses...but she's my mom....I'm not supposed to own clothes that she would. Okay that's enough!

I went grocery shopping on Sunday and was needing some moisterizer for my face. Did you know that every single one has some anti-aging or anti-wrinkle stuff in it? I don't need anti-aging! I'm only 26! Honestly, I'm not the least bit worried about wrinkles at the moment. That may change in a couple years, but what is so bad about looking your age? Of course I'm going to look really old when I'm 40, because every other 40 year old will look 25. So, that's really all I had to write about!

Finally had time to read something other than a test book this week, so I began reading a book that a friend lent me. It's called The Body Project and it's a great read if you have girls. The author takes the reader from Victorian Era to now explaining the relationship between a girl and her body. Must say....it kinda freaked me out. How does one combat a culture that tells girls their worth is in their appearance? I know my mom tried, but I still spent most of my adolescence completely focused on my outside. The next to last chapter is title "The Disappearance of Virginity" and boy does it make me want to lock Kayleigh up until she's thirty. Now I realize that this is not possible, nor is it healthy, and I know that I can't protect her from the world....but I sure wish I could. I remember is middle school when a boy classmate told me to meet him in the lost and found closet (wink, wink), and instead of feeling totally appauled, I laughed. I thought it was funny and never thought about it as harrassment. Boys walked down the halls grabbing girls butts and we thought it was a compliment! Mom told me this stuff wasn't acceptable...but what 13-year old actually thinks mom knows what she's talking about. How does one raise a daughter to be confindent enough in who she is to not crave the attention of hormone-charged teenage boys?

After the pigtails came out! She looks like a mad scientist! 

Ain't I just adorable! 

The first taste of icing! YUMMY! 

PRESENTS!!!!! 

Ahhhhhhh.....my favorite time of the day! Nap time! It's my two hours of peace and quite! Normally I would be working on school, but I decided to play hooky today and blog. It's amazing how much I crave silence during the week. You would probably understand if you spent about five minutes here while all the kiddos were up. They can be pretty loud and unfortunately that just comes with the territory. Hold on.....I have to go tell one little boy that he needs to be quite. I don't care if they sleep, but they do have to lay still and be quite. Ms. Michelle needs a break! I find that watching children is more exhausting than my previous job, but at least I get to be at home with Kayleigh. Some days, though, my patience runs thin and I find myself constantly having to apologize for my irritable mood.

Those days have been coming more frequently and yesterday I asked myself why. Probably should have done that months ago, but who has the time to think...not me! Anyways! I don't know if this is one of those phases in life people talk about, but it seems I don't spend time in the Word more than once every two weeks. And it's not that there isn't time. I have time, but usually I fill it with school or housework...things that I think I can't put off. Then there's getting over the idea that I need to spend like an hour studying the Word. I guess I just don't feel like I've done anything if I only read for 15 minutes. So, I pretty much go through my weeks thinking, "I need to spend more time in the Word" or "Gosh, it's been like two weeks since I even prayed"....and then of course I see God as though He's the friend I haven't called in a month and now I feel sheepish about calling cause then I would have to explain why I haven't called and I really don't have a good excuse. (is that a run-on? oh well, that's how I feel). Maybe this is legalism...thinking I need to spend a certain amount of time in the Word and in prayer and then feeling guilty if I don't. But then how am I supposed to develop a relationship with God if I don't spend enough time with Him to know Him? Grrrrrrrrrrrr! I am so frustrated with myself and I think that spills out into how I am with everyone around me.

Enough on that subject!!! Kayleigh has a blast at her birthday party! She loved opening presents and eating her cake. I am so glad she is in my life! I love her whole-face smile and goofy antics. Yesterday I did pigtails in her hair...she looked so cute! I'll post some pics from her birthday and yesterday!

Well spell checker is taking forever, so please forgive any spelling errors!

I was actually able to get her to be still long enough to put pig-tails in! 

Miss Kayleigh--July 5, 2005 

Miss Kayleigh--July 6, 2004 

Kayleigh turned ONE!!!!!

I'm still finding it hard to believe that a whole year has gone by! Time is flying! I'm a couple days late in posting....I have a week with no other children so I'm trying to get ahead in my classes. Plus, there's housework to catch up on. And Justin wonders why I can't find the time to nap during the day. Between kids, school and the house there really isn't any leftover time in my day. Now I understand why my mom stays up till 1 am....that's the only time she has to get anything done.

Anyways! Kayleigh's big party is on Saturday! I'm not going all out on this one...I figure next year we can do a theme or something. This year it's pretty much eat cake and open presents. I hope she doesn't turn into Miss Cranky Pants because her molars are starting to come in! That has to hurt! I'm so glad we don't remember anything from the baby years. Well I need to get back to school work!

Sitting here just thinking of how fast these past 11 months have flown by. I remember when the pregancy test read positive back in October 2003. I remember thinking July would never come and nine months was such a long time. Now it's June 2005 and my little girl is almost one year old. People told me to cherish the moments because they wouldn't last long enough, but I really didn't think time would go by this fast!

Kayleigh weaned herself off of me about a week ago :(! While I do feel a little sad, I'm pretty much okay with it. Having to force your squirmy child to nurse is not the most pleasent experience. So, we were both ready. Now she's down to one bottle just before bed time. Plus, next week she will be in the "walking" baby room at church. My little girl is so big!!!

I have to say this is a great stage, though. Yeah, little babies are cute, but they really don't do anything and they are A LOT of work with almost NO reward! I liked the baby stage, but this is SOOOOOO much better! I'll probably say that about every stage. I always thought of myself as a "baby person", but I am finding I'm more of a "toddler person".

Kayleigh's new thing is taking stuff out and putting stuff in. She also likes to carry things around that are way too heavy for her. It's so funny to watch her determination to get the object where she wants it to be. Her Ame taught her how to love on baby dolls, so now she walks around patting the doll on the back and chewing on it's ear....no one is perfect. Ame also introduced her to soy milk, which she LOVES! I had a hard time getting her to drink regular milk...she would get it in her mouth and then spit it out. The books didn't say there was anything wrong with substituting soy milk, so we tried it and she gulped it down!

Oh, one last update. Kayleigh's first word was BYE. Not Mama, not Dada, but BYE. What does that tell you about Miss Independent. The other day I dropped her off at Abba and Ame's and before I even walked to the door she was telling me bye. Then as soon as I stepped out the door she shut it on me! Guess I should be happy she feels safe with people other than me. It would be kinda nice though if she cried at least once when I left her. When I return I do get a huge grin, though!

Well, I need to read for school!

Finally!!!! There's enough hair on her head to style....well, I think it's cute! 

Kayleigh is walking!!! She decided about four days ago to walk everywhere. Crawling is still a mode of transportation, but only after falling down a couple of times. She looks so cute! I think she's pretending to be Elvis in this pic! 

I finally took a picture that showed all her teeth! She sure has a mouthful now and yes, she knows what they are for!!

I wish I had a camera phone

Justin, Kayleigh and I enjoyed lunch with my folks and siblings on Sunday. I know we probably shouldn't do this, but we use food as a way to keep Kayleigh occupied while we eat. Anyways! I piled some rice on the table for her (it was sanitized and scrubbed, so don't freak out). And what does my adorable little girl do....she instantly put her face in it and took a mouthful! What possessed her to do that, I have no idea! Maybe she saw Sheena eating that way or something. It was so cute!! I wish I had the camera!


That's all...just had to share some baby antics.

I LOVE MY DADDY!!!!! 

Finally, Sheena can see some benefit from the little attention stealer! 

A favorite activity.....empty the toy shelf and climb in! 

And this is the reason for lack of posting. My aunt had a baby and he ending up having to go to Cook's, so my mom stayed with her frequently. Therefore, for about three weeks I had a house full of kids! It's was exhausting, but also a blast! Kayleigh loved having so many playmates.