Monday, October 15, 2007
Today I am wondering if I am overly cautious or just realistic about the world we live in. For example, yesterday, while in line at Target, the man behind me began commenting an how cute Kayleigh was and asking questions like, has she ever been to Disney World, and noticing juice in my cart, is she a juice lover. He also noticed the shirts I had in my cart for William and asked if she was my oldest. I, of course, was vague in every answer to this questions because it kind of struck me as strange. If a woman asked those questions, I probably wouldn't think twice about answering them; but a man interested in my children puts me in protection mode. He was probably just a nice guy trying to make conversation in the long line, but I was uncomfortable. So, I wonder have all the stories on child predators made me too cautious/suspicious of people or is it better to error on the side of caution in this case?
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After thinking about the situation you described and your question, here is what I concluded.
I would have thought the guy may have thought you a single mother and maybe checking you out. If you were a single mother, what would be at the top of your list when thinking of a potential date/relationship? Probably someone who showed interest in your children, and the guy, as you described the scenario, noticed details about both kids. Using this explanation as the framework of your encounter, I would interpret the circumstances as innocent. However, if you felt uncomfortable with the whole scene then I would say listen to the Holy Spirit within. I think we, as mothers, have been given a gift of discernment, especially when it comes to protecting our kids. The guy you encountered may be a really nice guy with no intent to do harm to you or your children, but there are others who seek out opportunities to prey on the innocent, and with that knowledge you reacted when the guy started asking too many questions. You are a wise woman, and a wonderful mother, don’t ever second guess your instincts when it comes to your kids. So, yes, it is better to err on the side of caution in this case.
I agree with Brenda
If he was hitting on you, then a) yay for me because I'm lucky and b) I'm no longer letting you go shopping without me so I can punch those people out.
There's a really great book about this called _Protecting the Gift_. It talks about using your instincts to protect your children, how to teach your children to use their intincts, how common certain things are (for example, you child is more likely to die of a heart attack than to be abducted by a stranger!), and how to not worry but think productively. I think you were right to be uncomfortable in that situation and I would have been, too. This is not a world where everyone can be trusted, sadly. I really recommend the read, although it will completely change how you look at the world for a little while!
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